Relationships versus Cliques in the Church Body

This is my very first Blog. It was created because God placed in my heart the need to create a forum to discuss various thoughts or issues that we face in the Christian Church. I hope that what I say will connect with how some of you might feel. If it doesn't, I would love comments to support your feelings on the subject.

Today I want to discuss forming Relationships versus forming Cliques inside the Church Body. I feel that in many Churches today, there are too many cliques being formed which in turn stunts the true growth of the Church body. Growth in numbers does occur, but growth in love is lacking.

A Clique says that people have to conform to how members of that clique see's the world. I am not talking about being for or against the Word of God. There's no question about the Word of God because what the living God, the Father of Jesus Christ says is final. What I am talking about when I say to "conform to how that clique sees the world" is preferences which the Bible does give latitude. Cliques leave no room for tolerance of differing personalities. A member of a clique thinks, "If you are not like me, I can't be around you or learn anything from you."

A Relationship takes into account that no two people are the same. Differences are appreciated and accepted. It understands that people are not perfect. They will make mistakes and they will need forgiveness. This is the best environment for ministry.

(Ephesians 4:32) And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.

(Colossians 3:13) bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.

The key to both verses is to forgive as God has forgiven you.

Relationships keep God's standard at the forefront, whereas cliques replace God's standard with their own.

I think most people realize that cliques are not truly relational because they say things like "I don't want to take the time to form a relationship with that person or group because I don't click with them."

And some of us are so unaware that we are cliquish that we think everyone else is the problem. This kind of person generally finds themselves being apart of a "clique of one," because the only person they do click with is themselves.

God's goal is for us to form relationships with one another despite how well we click or don't click with a person or group. Relationship building is at the heart of God's plan for us, leading to the ultimate relationship with Him.

Relationships allow for constructive criticism whereas cliques don't.

(Proverbs 19:20) Listen to counsel and accept discipline, that you may be wise the rest of your days.

In my observation when someone in a clique is offended there is no mechanism for forgiveness or restoration. There is no loyalty within cliques to the person or group; only to the theme of the clique. Example: If your clique is centered around vanity, vanity gets the loyalty.

Relationships grant loyalty to the person or group. It causes people to bring something to the table other than just a plate to eat from. In other words, you don't just take, you give.

So when you say you did not get anything out of it, I ask you to challenge yourself with this question. Did I bring anything to invest in it? The last time I checked, the Rate of Return (ROR) on zero is still zero.

This is not just a big church issue. I grew up in a small church and now attend a large church. The sizes are different, but the issues are the same just on a different scale depending on how big or small the church is. It's a sad testament regarding today's churches that we have too many cliques and not enough relationships.

I hope this post will cause you to think about yourself, your church and the church body as a whole. Are you in relationships or are you apart of cliques?